Black, Black, Black, Blue?
by RoseThorn1234
Summary: Mai contemplates the reason why Naru always wears black. OneShot!
1. Chapter 1

**RoseThorn here! I just started writing this piece and couldn't stop. Please read!**

I watched as Naru softly let out a sigh. His black attire still hadn't changed from the first day I met him. Is he still mourning Gene? Or is it that he's gotten used to black all the time?

Naru has raven hair. It's a contrast to his pale white skin which makes it stand out even more. I have the strangest urge to touch and stroke those soft locks. I could lose myself for hours playing with them...

He always wears a black attire. A black shirt, jeans, shoes, and finally a black coat. His coat's smell is just like him. Yes, I've smelled it before. It was before I found out who he was and he left. Once when no one was at the office- Naru had gone for lunch with Masako and she insisted on him taking off his coat- I had wrapped myself up in it and imagined what it would have been like if it were Naru's arms around me instead. The sweet smell of tea had surrounded me, enchanted me, even. Luckily I had taken the coat off five minutes before the couple came back.

Naru's notebook is one of the mysteries of our office. It appears out of nowhere- you never see him take it out. He's always scribbling on it. I've always wondered what was written in it. Maybe case related things. Maybe things he finds interesting. Maybe it's a journal. Maybe it's filled with anything and everything!

Black hair, black shirt, black coat, black jeans, black shoes, black notebook. Heck- I think he even wears black socks! The only other color I've seen him wear is that time at the Urado case where he was wearing blue pajamas. Why blue, anyway? Was he trying to match his eyes?

That would make sense. His eyes are cold, freezing blue. They pierce through you, seeing everything that you want to hide. I've only seen one other type of eyes like that. But those eyes are a soft, reassuring blue. The kind that makes you relax even if you're in the same room as them. I wonder why I couldn't have fallen in love with the happy eyes instead of the frigid ones.

Sometimes I wind up thinking. What would have happened if I had chosen Gene instead of him and Gene had been alive. Would I have been happier? Maybe. Would I have been content? I don't know. I do know that I like my life now. Naru's brought a whole new life for me with him.

I have a family again. A place to belong. I don't think even he knows the extent of what he did for me. Without him, I would still be that lonely orphan girl that worked hard to make ends meet. Sure, I had friends but they weren't the same as the family I have now. I didn't tell them everything and count on them to save my life. Monk, Ayako, John, Yasu and a tiny tiny piece of Masako are the people that I feel I can count on during the most dangerous situations.

And then there's Naru. The 'Big Boss', famous narcissist, Oliver Davis, Shibuya Kazuya. The one who's responsible for making me happy and breaking my heart. The one who still holds my heart. The one who asked the stupid necessary question: "Me or Gene?

Oh that question. It ripped my heart in two and tossed my mind into chaos.

Me or Gene?

Me or Gene?

YOU! It was always YOU! It will always be YOU! How I wanted to tell him. But when the fatal question was asked, my lips were sealed. They betrayed me and refused to open. So I cried in frustration and confusion and heartbreak and grief. He stayed there, leaning against the tree, throughout the whole thing. He thought I was crying because I loved Gene! He even told me I'd probably meet him again! Why did he have to be so kind? Why? I knew how horrible it must feel to be the one in the dark. To always have your twin preferred over you. No one ever noticed you, did they? They wanted you to be like Gene. They didn't understand that you were someone else. And then, he thought I probably wanted the same thing!

I'm sorry. So sorry. I should have known the answer to that question. Should have answered that question right away. But I didn't. And you didn't ask. Instead you left, leaving me broken and horrified at myself. I didn't know at that time. I got confused. Of course it made sense. He was so cold to everyone and his twin was so warm. It was natural. But it felt so wrong!

Naru was the one who was always there. The one who always saved me. The one who made my heart race and become happy at the mere thought of him. He was the idiot scientist who always annoyed me by treating me like a moron. The one who was addicted to tea. The one who I wanted to smile.

His smile was so rare. I had seen it only once on his face. It was during the case at Yasu's school. When we were stuck in the well, he had been playful and smiled. Smiled at me. I want to see that side of him again. The one that was kind and compassionate. Even if that side still treated me like a little kid.

It was when he was gone that I realized that the one I loved was him. But he was gone, and probably never coming back. All I was left with were the keys to the office and a photo. A photo of Naru and Gene. The miniature Naru in the photo had the same expression as the real one. A cold, aloof expression. I wanted to see that face again. I wanted to hear his voice again, even if it was to call for tea. For three months I was miserable. I didn't know what to do with myself, I had forgotten what my life was like before Naru. So I buried myself in school and work. I kept in touch with the other members, but it wasn't the same. They all had other things to do and their own lives to go live. Soon I only heard from them once in a while.

And then he came back. Naru came back! I was ecstatic, he was coming back! I could answer that question. I could tell him it was him. When he came to the airport, I couldn't go, but the rest of SPR showed up. They told me later that Naru had asked where I was. I was in school, thinking about the fact that he was probably reaching soon (I got in trouble for not paying attention). Later that day, he showed up at my apartment and asked if he wanted my job back.

YES! Of course I did. I couldn't believe that he actually came all the way to my home to ask me! I didn't say all of that out loud, but just nodded and he left. The reason he gave for coming back, when I asked him, was 'Japan has more supernatural occurrences than England'. Yeah, right. I'm not that stupid Naru. I knew that he liked being in Japan with the rest of the team. I could see the amusement and content in his eyes when he had been in the office. But I just decided to agree with whatever he wanted to say, even if I knew better. He has a really hard time admitting his feelings, after all.

And now, everything is back to normal. Naru is back in all his black glory. I finally have a chance to tell him the answer to that question. I take a deep breath. I slowly walk into his office and set his tea down.

"Hey Naru?"

Naru looks at me with an emotionless face. "What?"

I summon up my courage. "I have the answer to the question you asked."

He knew what I was talking about. Of course he did. Slowly, a beautiful smile showed itself on his face. "And?"

I take another deep breath. "It's..."

**I'm awesome! That's right! I just write tho whole thing on my phone! Anyway, I hope you like this piece. REVIEW and tell me what you think about it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright, I've decided to add another chapter. This is Naru's point of view... Now let's see what he thinks.**

I let out a soft sigh as I shifted through the papers. I wasn't concentrating. I couldn't. Not with Mai finally next to me again.

Mai. She is such a beautiful person. Always caring and compassionate. She was the only other person other than Gene who I allowed to get close to me. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want her to become close to me. No, not at all. She wormed her way into my heart, forcing herself through the cracks in my walls. Somehow, she understands me the the way Gene did...

She knows exactly what I want, what I'm thinking. She knows when I'm angry or (dare I say it) happy. She wasn't fooled when I first met her in the classroom with her friends. She knew I was lying the moment I stepped in the room. I personally think that it was her animal instinct that tipped her off.

Her instincts have been getting stronger on each case. I'm getting worried that soon her powers will get out of hand. They just keep growing. Not that she seems to mind... Even though she cries each time she dreams of someone's death, she always gets back up again.

Mai is the strongest person I know. She never lets anything get her down. She always bounces back stronger than ever. She is like a puzzle that I'll never finish, I'm always thrown off by her reactions. I care about what she thinks.

I've never cared about anyone the way I do with Mai. I admit she interested me when I first met her at the Old Schoolhouse case, but it was nothing more than that. When I asked her to work at SPR, it was because I felt empathy towards her because she was an orphan like me. It wasn't at all like I missed her. Then, it was because she made good tea. And then it was because her psychic powers were valuable and helpful. I kept making excuses for why I kept her close to me. It was only after I left for England that I realized I loved her. But she loves Gene.

I knew it the moment that I realized that it was Gene who she dreamt about. After all, who would like me? I was the jerk, the cold one, the shadow. Everyone preferred Gene over me. It was only natural for them to like the good twin more, so I was fine with it. He was my other half, after all, I couldn't hate him. There was only one time I came close to hating him. It was when Mai confessed to me.

She didn't love me, she loved Gene, just like everyone else. There was no way that she would say that it was me. I knew it when I asked her that question, yet for some reason I kept hoping. Maybe there was a chance she loved me. That she wanted me over Gene. But she didn't answer.

I waited for her, but instead of answering, she cried. I knew instantly that she didn't love me. My heart shattered. The one person I could open my heart to had done the same thing as everyone else. She chose Gene.

It was obvious. The fact that she didn't answer said it all. I didn't show any emotion on my face. I even told her that she would meet him again. There was nothing to show how I was being destroyed on the inside. I hate Gene.

He took her from me. I just needed her to want me. Why did everyone prefer him? Why couldn't just one person, just Mai, choose me instead? I couldn't change how I act. I was not the kind, passionate person that Gene was. Of all people, I thought Mai would understand. She would see it.

I shouldn't have had any hopes. I was the shadow. No one noticed me. I was fine with that. If I repeated it enough times I would believe it.

I'm fine with it.

I don't care.

I do not love Mai.

I left.

I didn't ask her again and she didn't answer. For some reason I still had hope. She would answer. She would tell me she was in love with me. She didn't. She let me walk away in the airport and my last hopes were crushed.

It was torture. England was hell. There was no good tea. There was no one to tease. There was no one to fight with. There wasn't any loud assistant in the office. There was no Mai.

For three months, I brooded. No one dared to talk to me. Not even Lin. I lost myself in work. I hardly ate or slept. I didn't want to sleep. She appeared in my dreams, always out of reach. I needed to go back.

I needed to be with her again. It was killing me, being apart from her. I wanted an answer. No- I needed an answer.

I made up an excuse. "Japan has more paranormal occurrences."

Ha. Yeah, right. That was crap. I knew that Lin knew it too. He stated at me strangely then smirked.

I went back.

I stepped into the airport to see the whole team there. Almost the whole team. She wasn't there. Why wasn't she there? Did she hate me?

I asked them. "Where is Mai?"

They shrugged and looked uncomfortable. I knew. She didn't want to see me. That was the only reason for her to not be here. I was heading back to the darkness that I had wanted to escape from in England. Then Lin saved me. Leaning forward to whisper in my ear. " I believe Mai-san has classes."

Hope blossomed again. I went to her apartment later that week. I went all the way there to ask her if she wanted her job back. I could see surprise and shock on her face. She said yes.

She said yes! On the inside, I could feel the warmth blossoming. On the outside I was the same as ever. She asked me why I came back. I told her the same thing I told my parents.

I could see that she didn't believe me, but she didn't say anything about it. I left, feeling like a whole person again.

Everything became normal again. The routine I had come to think of as normal starts again. A office at Shibuya. A loud monk, 'old' priestess, kind priest, creepy researcher, even a snobby famous medium that I hate. And the loud obnoxious brunette that I love. I love Mai. Mai is with me. Nothing can go wrong.

"Hey, Naru?" A female voice broke through my thoughts. It belonged to the one that I thought about the while day.

"What?" I kept my face emotionless like always, not showing that I was agree to anything she asked.

She said something that made my blood run cold. " I have the answer to the question you asked."

I knew what she was taking about. She knew that I knew too. Could I hope? For once, would someone choose me? I decided to take a risk.

Slowly, a smile spread over my face. "And?"

She took a deep breath.

And spoke.

She kept talking, but I didn't hear anything except her answer. "It's you."

It was me. She chose me! My thoughts ran wild. I didn't hear a word she said, but gazed at her in shock. The I noticed the tears on the corners of her eyes. "- and I understand If you don't feel the same way. I just had to tell you."

She started to walk toward the door.

No.

Hell no.

I would NOT let her go again. I got up and quickly caught her wrist. She looked at me in surprise. I pulled her to me and kissed her.

I felt her relax against me and smirked. When I pulled away, I was still smirking. "Who said I didn't feel the same way?"

I let my smirk turn into a warm smile as she buried her face into my chest, blushing, and I buried my face into her hair.

We both spoke at the same time.

"I love you."

**THE END!**

**It was good right? Tell me it was good! It's so hard to have Naru smile or anything, and have someone actually see it so he's smiling into her hair instead. This is for all of you who wanted to know what happened! I have been righting another fanfic called A Demon's Heart. Please read it! Review and tell me what you think!**


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